Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

The pessimist says, “the glass is half empty.”

The optimist says, “the glass is half full.”

The engineer says, “that’s the wrong size of glass.”

DIY (or engineering as I like to call it) is not a process, rather a state of mind.  It is with this state of mind that I have taken on some projects in the last couple of weeks, things that needed to be done in a long time.  One was servicing our boiler (don’t worry, not a gas boiler).  It is a straightforward process as long as the settings do not need changed, it helps that I borrowed my dad’s boiler servicing kit.  As well as the kit and the replacement jets I stole from said kit my dad gave me something else as well; confidence and experience.  From a very early age I was put to work spent quality time with my dad under car bonnets, under the cars themselves and even fitting water pipes in the spaces under the house were all the monsters live and the spiders are as big as dinner plates (or so I remember).

A useful DIY lesson  from dad is the shipyard spanner when all other spanners won’t fit or won’t work:

Another useful lesson is to just keep trying even when it is going wrong.  This was helpful when it did go wrong last weekend.  I needed to get the lovely Sharon’s car up on ramps in order to access the oil filter.  What should have been a simple service was turning into an epic because of the design, or lack of design, of her frustrating little car.

I have got a car onto ramps on a gravel driveway before so I knew it was possible.  Tricky but possible.  The technique involves digging down to solid ground and then trying to anchor the ramps down to stop them moving.  Two tree stumps should have done the job……they didn’t.



When we had eventually calmed down it turned out that it was easy enough to get off the grounded ramps with a trolley jack.  Two things were on my side; the fact that the lovely Sharon’s car is so light, and luck.  A bit of the car had to be reattached with cable ties but I don’t think it is a problem, it seems happy.

The oil filter had to be eventually removed by nearly crawling into the engine from above.  After brute force and ignorance did not work I threw in some blood and foul language and that seemed to do the trick.

The timetablers have been kicked out of their usual room.  The room is needed for some examinations so we have been displaced to a different location.  The temporary room has many uses including a meeting room so is much larger than the usual place.  Another interesting difference is the lack of windows!  There are windows but they do not go to the outside, instead they look out over the school’s mall area.  This means a lack of ventilation in a very warm school (damn those energy-efficient building controls).  But, not to worry as we have an air conditioning unit, so there is the energy efficiency displaced.  It gets better, much better.  Let me explain:

An air conditioning unit works by cooling the air already present in a room.  However, this process itself requires more heat is generated.  So an air conditioning unit has to take some of the warm air and heat it a bit more and then dump it to an outside location were the extra heat does not matter.

One day I was working at the computer and I put the air con on as it was getting a little too hot.  The cool air felt great until about five minutes later and I thought, “hold on, what’s that?”  As I felt very warm air on my head I looked up to see an air vent.  Standing up revealed that it was blasting out hot air.  Several minutes of investigation later I discovered something that is insanely stupid; the air con unit had been set up to blast its hot air back into the same room that it was supposed to cool!

I thought this was hilarious as it turns an air conditioning unit into a very expensive and inefficient heater.  Leaving it running will simply heat up the room.  The engineer who fitted it must have known.  I can only guess at the conversation……

“I want an air conditioning unit”

“We can’t fit it as we are too deep into the building and the hot air vent has nowhere to go!”

“I don’t care where you put the hot air vent, just fit it!”